tbhas6
Senior Member
Posts: 1,146
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Post by tbhas6 on May 20, 2008 11:17:01 GMT -5
Hi Ladies ...
My husband is on call 24/7 for his job and must travel extensively (in just the past 2 months he's been in West Texas, Wyoming (5x's), Mississippi, Louisiana (3x's), Colorado (2x's) and Utah 4x's). We never know from day to day where he'll be or how long he'll be there. There have been times when I've had to pack up and hit the road, just so we can see daddy for a day or two. When daddy is home I lighten our school schedule to afford the children more time with him - as we never know how long he'll be here.
(I know that this type of work schedule would drive some wives crazy - however, we knew what we were getting into when he accepted this position. And quite frankly - he really likes his job, since he is an extreme "Mr. Command", I like the breaks AND our entire family likes and enjoys the benefits of his income. At this time we are very satisfied with his position.)
Anyway, because of my husband's unpredictable work schedule, we started home schooling year round about 2 1/2 years ago. I really enjoy the freedom of not having to cram everything into a set calendar - it has been a remedy to the stress I used to feel when we home schooled from September to May while trying to cope with hubby's work schedule. Recently, I am finding that I am feeling burned out. I don't know if it is the year round schooling or that we've been home schooling for several years or the fact that I spend weeks at a time as a single parent or even a combination of all three.
Have any of you ladies experienced home schooling burn-out? If so, how did you over come it?
Please note: public, private, or home school co-op schools are not options for us, not only from a biblical perspective but also logistically. Being tied down to another's schedule would cause, on occasion, us to not see daddy for months at a time.
I thank you all for your sharing your experiences and suggestions in overcoming these feelings of burn-out.
tb
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Post by gratefulmomof3 on May 20, 2008 12:03:53 GMT -5
I know that I don't know you,and you don't know me,but I can say I know what you are going through! My husband is an over the road truck driver and he is home on weekends. Monday through friday I am a "single" mom. I am responsible for the kids, the house, the bills, running the business from home, and everything else! If I put my kids into public school, then they would miss out on alot! Sometimes he can get in early like on a wednesday, and so we don't do school until he leaves. The kids don't get to see him enough,and they need there "daddy time". Twice now my seven year old has "gone trucking" with her dad. She's gone to north carolina,connecticut, indiana and kentucky,and up and down the east coast. She loves it, and yes she does learn! As far as burn out from homeschooling......absolutely! Sometimes I feel like it is just too much to do! We are going to do school about two days a week for the summer. Enough to keep there minds sharp, but not enough as too put alot of pressure on me,or constrict our schedule for the summer. I want to be schedule free! I have ideas of picnics, hiking,swimming.......just relaxing! Maybe you could take just a month off from school? Not the whole summer, but give yourself a break too! And don't feel guilty, you do deserve a break! Good luck to you, and if you ever want to talk, I am here!
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lanabelle
Charitable Lady
I want to be a teacher of good things.
Posts: 100
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Post by lanabelle on May 20, 2008 14:31:18 GMT -5
Oh, tb, It sounds like you need a vacation. I know that I don't know you personally but I do know that you have to be one of the most disciplined and scheduled people that I know. Give yourself a tiny break. I know that you even schedule private time for yourself, but it's still filled with things that you have to do, sewing, gardening, etc., etc. Girl you just need a break! I understand that you need to school year round so that the children can have Daddy time, but for just a week or 2 HAVE FUN! Be spontainous, even be a little lazy, do you have a creek near your house, take a picnic the kids and a good book and stay all day! I truly believe that the Lord intended for us to work and schedule and be extremely productive, but he also made us with the ability to laugh (which is the best medicine anyone could ever take) and have fun. Go have fun with your kids for a few days.
Lana
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Post by keflavik on May 20, 2008 20:01:59 GMT -5
I feel your pain! And with my experience as a high faluting doctorate in domestic engineering(Hee Hee) I say: Relax. Refresh. Renew. (kinda sounds like a facial therapy) But, in all seriousness, I was/am in the same boat as you. I have found that I do need to take a few days off every so often to lighten up and RELAX. One of the thoughts that struck me last weekend at the Homeschool conference was: We all are given the same amount of time in each day. We all have a ongoing list of things we feel we need to do each day. But, have we stopped and asked God or listened to what He wants us to do each day? We all have bumps in the road and interuptions that throw us off schedule and that stresses us out because we still want to get it all done. But, you know what? It will be there tomorrow. What is your top priority? Its okay to spend a little extra time doing something special with the young'uns even if it throws you off. Your making memories with them. Why feel guilty? By Refreshing I mean do you have a support group available? Even adult conversations with a friend when the hubby is gone? Have you gone to a booksale recently or a homeschool convention to get new ideas and actually SEE people that are doing the same as you? I know sometimes I feel like I am the only one in the whole world with my problems. It is somewhat refreshing to meet someone going through the same thing. (I know that sounds bad but it makes it seem easier for me) Or have you thought about teaching (in the spirit of Titus 2) a class on what you know a lot about? That challenges me at a different angle and gets the brain stimulated again. And by Renew, look at what you are doing from an outsiders view. Is there maybe a different way it can be done? Sometimes change is good for everyone. It breaks up the monotony. Maybe just a change of curriculum. Restate and reaffirm WHY you are doing what you are doing. Have a time of prayer and meditation and think of ways that you can enliven things. And exercise. It will help you phyically. I'm still working on that. I can only hope the best for you. I will be shaking things up around here in the next couple of weeks with a new chore chart and schedule because I need the change too. May God bless you.
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Post by missionarywife on May 21, 2008 6:30:58 GMT -5
Ok, I thought I wrote this. I am feeling the stress of being behind in school. We are perpetually behind. I was on 10 wks of bedrest starting in Jan and got off tract for a while. I have come to the conclussion that I won't have alot done before this baby gets here. I am taking off July for the baby. I am due July 9 so may do work that week before. I try to get something done each day but distractions are big.
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tbhas6
Senior Member
Posts: 1,146
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Post by tbhas6 on May 21, 2008 18:50:52 GMT -5
Hi Missionarywife,
I know you are probably ready for the new little one to be here. Three years ago, I was in an auto accident that put me out of commission for close to three months. We tried to school on a part-time basis, but even part-time we ended up pretty far behind. I ended up feeling very frustrated. About 5 weeks into my recovery, I gave up and decided that we would just have a break from school until my recovery was complete. In the end, my then 9th grader finished up 9th grade during the months of July, August and Spetember. He started 10th grade in October and finished it up in June. His 11th grade year is the year we decided to begin "year round" schooling with short breaks spread through out the year instead of one long break over the summer.
I share that story, to encourage you and let you know that even though you guys are behind right now, that doesn't mean you will always be behind. When we home schooling moms get behind, we often feel like catching up is akin to eating an elephant. In some ways it is ... but, we must remember those elephants can be eaten. They are consumed the same way we consume everything else, one bite at a time. Hang in there. Once your health is restored, you guys will get caught up.
To all you other wonderful ladies,
AHHHHH! You are so right ... I do need to take my own advise and lighten up on my self a bit. Although I make a point to have "fun", I also have a terrible habit of SCHEDULING the fun. For example the other day, my little #5 asked, "Mommy, can we play kick ball tomorrow?" I responded, "Well, you know that's not on the schedule." He says, "Please, I like kick ball a lot." I told him I'd try to work it in. We DID play kick ball for about an hour the following day, but again, I re-arranged our "schedule" so I could fit it in.
Also last year our family took a 5,000 + mile road trip for vacation. (wait, I need to put my bullet proof vest on before I finish this confession, as I know you all are going to shoot me.) I actually figured up how many miles we'd be on the road per day and assigned a limited small amount of school work for each day. Then in the evenings while everyone was taking baths, I'd grade it.
Like Gratefulmomof3, ALL the family activity and what seems like 90% of the decission making falls upon my shoulders. Not because my husband is inactive as a parent or spouse, but because he works away from home for weeks, sometimes months, at time. I'm the only grown-up around to do it. I often feel like the ONLY way I can manage EVERYTHING on my own is to adhear to a disciplined schedule - otherwise, I fear that absolutely nothing will get accomplished.
So, after mulling over your ideas, suggestions and experience, I have decided to take y'alls advice - with a compromise. I am going to schedule (stop throwing things at me ...) a two week moratorium away from the "schedule". Not necessarily absence of rules or chores, but instead of scheduled school and scheduled fun time, we will have all day "free" time. And we'll just do what ever strikes our fancy on any given day - not school & that includes no lesson planning or paper grading for mom. For instance, if we want to go to the park, we will and mom won't have a set time as to when we have to return to whatever may be next on the schedule.
Again, you ladies are correct, WE do need a refreshing ...
Thank you for all your support!
tb
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Post by missionarywife on May 22, 2008 2:49:43 GMT -5
Hi Missionarywife, I know you are probably ready for the new little one to be here. Three years ago, I was in an auto accident that put me out of commission for close to three months. We tried to school on a part-time basis, but even part-time we ended up pretty far behind. I ended up feeling very frustrated. About 5 weeks into my recovery, I gave up and decided that we would just have a break from school until my recovery was complete. In the end, my then 9th grader finished up 9th grade during the months of July, August and Spetember. He started 10th grade in October and finished it up in June. His 11th grade year is the year we decided to begin "year round" schooling with short breaks spread through out the year instead of one long break over the summer. I share that story, to encourage you and let you know that even though you guys are behind right now, that doesn't mean you will always be behind. When we home schooling moms get behind, we often feel like catching up is akin to eating an elephant. In some ways it is ... but, we must remember those elephants can be eaten. They are consumed the same way we consume everything else, one bite at a time. Hang in there. Once your health is restored, you guys will get caught up. tb Thank you for the encouragement. I need to say that we are perpetually behind. My dd especially. It all started with deputation and I would of thought we would be back on schedule. I am taking one day at a time and am happy if we get something done. If you ladies are not missionary wifes then you don't really know how different and time consuming life is here. Add on top the health problems and such that I have had and I shouldn't be suprised. I would say that my daughter is behind the worst. The boys are not as bad.
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tbhas6
Senior Member
Posts: 1,146
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Post by tbhas6 on May 22, 2008 8:34:05 GMT -5
I don't know what sort of curriculum you all are using OR how many subjects you are trying to cover in any given year. But have you all considered eliminating "extra" subjects and teaching only the basics for a while.
When we removed our #3 from 7th grade public school, he couldn't read any better than a 2nd grader (the public school said he tested at 4th grade level, but our #1, #2, and #4 all read far better than #3 in 2nd grade). During our first year home schooling, we skipped teaching math, (that was the only subject he was actually on level in), science, spelling and grammar. We only taught phonics, literature w/ writing, and history (involves a lot of reading). This allowed him to improve enough in reading so that we could add grammar, spelling, math, and science the following year. He is now in 12th grade, scheduled to graduate in December. Over the years of home schooling we've caught up on the year of spelling, grammar and science that he missed. Next month he will begin his last math class and will complete the entire year in 6 months (he is only a few lessons away from finishing his 11th grade math that he started in January).
Again, I share this personal experience to encourage you. I want you to have the peace and confidence that what you all don't finish today, will be there tomorrow & there will come a day when it is completed. In our family, we feel we must get the basics finished - reading, math, spelling, & English (aka literature/grammar). While in the elementary grades, if we get behind in the extras - science, history/social studies, art, music, Spanish, etc., I trust that the Lord will "catch us up" in His timing. After all, He caught us up with our #3, why wouldn't He do it again with the others?
Keep hanging in there - I assure you, it will all come out in the wash. Through His word, God has directed parents to train and educate their children. Thus, I am confident the Lord has blessed you and your husband with the children who would benefit most from having you, and not someone else, as parents.
tb
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Post by missionarywife on May 22, 2008 9:16:14 GMT -5
I don't know what sort of curriculum you all are using OR how many subjects you are trying to cover in any given year. But have you all considered eliminating "extra" subjects and teaching only the basics for a while. When we removed our #3 from 7th grade public school, he couldn't read any better than a 2nd grader (the public school said he tested at 4th grade level, but our #1, #2, and #4 all read far better than #3 in 2nd grade). During our first year home schooling, we skipped teaching math, (that was the only subject he was actually on level in), science, spelling and grammar. We only taught phonics, literature w/ writing, and history (involves a lot of reading). This allowed him to improve enough in reading so that we could add grammar, spelling, math, and science the following year. He is now in 12th grade, scheduled to graduate in December. Over the years of home schooling we've caught up on the year of spelling, grammar and science that he missed. Next month he will begin his last math class and will complete the entire year in 6 months (he is only a few lessons away from finishing his 11th grade math that he started in January). Again, I share this personal experience to encourage you. I want you to have the peace and confidence that what you all don't finish today, will be there tomorrow & there will come a day when it is completed. In our family, we feel we must get the basics finished - reading, math, spelling, & English (aka literature/grammar). While in the elementary grades, if we get behind in the extras - science, history/social studies, art, music, Spanish, etc., I trust that the Lord will "catch us up" in His timing. After all, He caught us up with our #3, why wouldn't He do it again with the others? Keep hanging in there - I assure you, it will all come out in the wash. Through His word, God has directed parents to train and educate their children. Thus, I am confident the Lord has blessed you and your husband with the children who would benefit most from having you, and not someone else, as parents. tb You have been an encouragement to me. Thanks. dd will be 13 on Sat and is in 6th grade. I am using rod and staff right now but will be switching to Christian Light. On the bright side, I recieved an email about a girl wanting to come this summer to help me. She is still praying about it but I would love to have some help.
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tbhas6
Senior Member
Posts: 1,146
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Post by tbhas6 on May 22, 2008 21:48:36 GMT -5
Missionarywife,
I will join you in prayer that the Lord will provide this assistance. tb
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tbhas6
Senior Member
Posts: 1,146
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Post by tbhas6 on Jun 20, 2008 23:30:20 GMT -5
Well, ladies, you were all right on in advising me to take a break. Of course I didn't get to take my "scheduled" break because of the broken tail bone thing. But somehow I feel like the Lord may have allowed that to happen to force me to come nearer a STOP than I had planned. Even with my "scheduled" break from school, I still had ideas of "educational" field trips for the kiddos - I wouldn't have had the real down time the broken tail bone afforded me.
My energy and enthusiasm for home schooling has returned and I am ready to get back into the groove. This afternoon I made up everyone's assignment schedules through the end of August! It is such a relief to know that everything's planned for the next 10 weeks (don't worry, I left "cushion" just in case the children get stuck or need extra help on anything).
Again, thank you all so much for your suggestions, ideas and support. Having you all is almost like having real sisters! tb
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Post by pursuer on Jun 26, 2008 19:41:05 GMT -5
Oh, I am praying for you. I am still a baby in this field, but my heart goes out to you and I will be remembering you in my prayers the rest of this week. Could taking one or two weeks completely off work? Or would that throw off the year-round schooling too much... that's the only thing I can think of. God's blessings, and you are certainly remembered in prayer!
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Post by pursuer on Jun 26, 2008 19:44:38 GMT -5
Well if I'd only read through! I am sorry! Glad to hear you are taking a break. (All of mine are scheduled, don't feel bad about that! I have mine scheduled in already! )
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Post by missionarywife on Jun 28, 2008 1:26:43 GMT -5
Here is an update on us. We are taking off till the 1st week of August. I was sick basically the whole 9 mons with benaiah and the house needs some womanly cleaning. Second we have a group coming to help with our VBS which we do numerous times so for me to start up soon after Benaiah is not wise. I do have my 2 older ones working on some catch up stuff. I think this break will be good as I can get some much needed cleaning done and get used to Benaiah.
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