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Post by mrshester on Sept 24, 2008 8:49:10 GMT -5
I'm kinda lost on this. My husband and I attend a southern baptist church right now and there are some things that have started to disturb me. I have discussed this with my husband and for the most part we are in agreement on many things, but I've never really gone to a church much different than this, so I'm not sure about a few things. DH has been a member there for most all of his life. I know God's Word is final authority, and it probably doesn't help that we don't have what I'm starting to consider a true Bible (KJV) because I've noticed my NIV has a completely different meaning sometimes than the verses I've looked up online. I've wanted to maybe ask if we should look for another church or bring it up to the pastor and see where he truly stands on the issues (or non-issues that they should be) but I sort of feel like I need to keep my mouth shut for a little while and see where the Holy Spirit might lead my husband, and just pray about it. But if it's blatant disobedience... So, since God has said women are to be silent in the church, and I'm taking it to also mean that men are supposed to teach men and women are to teach women, then what, outside of sermon and Sunday school, what are women supposed to do? Does that mean that couples classes aren't a good idea? What about worship, can women lead worship, if they are under the authority of the pastor? The more I think about it, the more uncomfortable I get about our current situation. And I don't think many in our congregation know what it means to dress modest. Not that I always have myself even when I considered myself a "good" christian, but I'm talking bra straps showing and skirts so short she should have been sent back home to finish getting dressed. What gives!? I feel kind of helpless right now.
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tbhas6
Senior Member
Posts: 1,146
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Post by tbhas6 on Sept 24, 2008 12:56:20 GMT -5
Hi Mrs. Hester,
Your observations regarding your current church home are really not that out of the ordinary from others who are growing in and drawing closer to the Lord. Unfortunately, today's American Christian church, as a whole, seems to be on a very slippery slope.
We had been members of a church for more than 13 years and as I grew closer to the Lord I began noticing the moral decline of our church body. When the time had come to move on and we began to visit other churches, we found that our former church was not "outside" the norm - despite visiting various denominations.
I will share that I felt a leading to change churches at least a year before my husband. (please note: my husband does not attend church with us on a regular basis, however, he is insistent that I and the children attend AND he desires us to remain in the denomination of his grandparents). After a particular incident, my husband decided the last straw had been placed upon the camel's back, so to speak, and he instructed us to look for another church home. Unfortunately, we have had a very difficult time finding one. We are currently attending a small church near our home, but I am not satisfied with what I see. At the same time, what I see is not uncommon to what I see elsewhere, despite denomination: complacency, immodesty, relinquishment of authority to women, lack of involvement, rebellious children and teenagers, lack of ownership, lack of organization, the mindset of "because of grace it is O.K. to sin", etc.
Even when I was feeling lead to look elsewhere, I remained silent. I waited upon the Lord to move my husband's heart. In hindsight, I know this was not only biblical but also from a practical standpoint the best thing I could have done.
The root cause of the sin we see in today's churches is rebellion. The Christian church allowed the seed of rebellion, specifically feminism, to be planted within it. We are beginning to see the fruits of that seed in today's churches. If we look back into social history we will see strong families, churches and communities because women were not in the captain's seat, they were in the co-captain's seat. Today, the women are becoming the captains, but the men have not taken the place of co-captains (they can't, because they are genetically designed by God to be captains) - they have been reduced to passengers and flight attendants. Just as a commercial jet needs a captain who communicates with the co-captain who communicates with the navigator, so our churches need the same. Unfortunately, we've (the Christian church) swallowed the lies of feminism from satan without even questioning what he was feeding us.
So getting off the bunny trail and back to your question. I think it is important that we always seek God's direction with regard to these questions. Colossians 3:18, "Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." (KJV) Ephesians 5:22, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." (KJV) Ephesians 5:24, "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." (KJV) If ever the above is difficult ... II Corinthians 12:9, "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (KJV)
tb
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Post by mrshester on Sept 29, 2008 8:54:36 GMT -5
Thank you TB! This is an almost painful situation, I have come to love my brothers and sisters there very much. They have been so instrumental in my "coming back" in that they have always been there for us. I truly believe they love God. Never have I been to a church that flat out loves you. And our pastor actually preaches against sin and that grace is NOT a license to sin! But not alot on the subject of women and the church. My husband has suggested I talk to the pastor about what I'm feeling, but I almost feel like that would be stepping out of the "chain of command", like maybe it isn't my place to do so. And I am in the choir, and I love being there. I love singing praise to and worshiping the Lord with all my heart, but our choir director is a woman (whom I also love dearly) who seems to be taking more and more liberty with speaking and it's almost like she puts on a show sometimes. I've not been the only one to notice this lately. For instance, we went to a prison not too long ago and sang for the inmates. It did feel good to be able to minister to these men, I probably won't be back without my husband...I felt very uncomfortable with the looks we were getting; but I feel like if we go to sing, we should sing and that's that. But she not only sang, but she talked alot and at the end she gave an invitation. I felt like the chaplain, who was there, should have been the one to offer it, but she was leading and directing the men, not only in the choir.
Please forgive me if I'm ranting. I have shared all this with my husband and I do not want to keep bothering him with it, and at the same time I want to get a wiser woman's take on it. Our youth minister has also asked me if I would lead worship for the youth on occasion, I'm very torn on that. I want to help but I don't feel it is my place to lead. It does not bother my husband. I wish we had men who would step up and do these things, but we don't. They won't even pray without almost being begged. I am proud of my dh though! He is reading aloud more in Sunday school! And I finally have a KJV!
I will do as you suggested and what I know is right, pray and wait. But I am curious as to the thoughts of others on these things. Thank you so much for helping, and for your patience.
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