Sister Michelle
Administrator
I must keep my eyes on Jesus my Saviour
Posts: 1,065
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Post by Sister Michelle on Jan 14, 2006 13:03:26 GMT -5
Dear Sisters, I have a problem with two of my children being perfectionists. My four yo will not finish school if all of here numbers are drawn perfect. She does a great job and I tell her that as long as she is doing her best that is what I excpect. She will erase and erase or just sit and cry that the numbers are not just like the example. I am at a loss of what to do. Also my two year old sits and cries evey time something spills. He has a big problem at meal time if anything falls off of his fork. It makes for some stressful times. Any ideas would be appreciated. I know this is a great quality in them if they do not get hung up on it. Please let me know what you think.
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debbie
Gracious Lady
Posts: 12
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Post by debbie on Jan 17, 2006 8:47:46 GMT -5
Michelle,
Maybe this sounds crazy, but I would like to have those problems! God has blessed us with six boys, and as is typical of boys, they like to be as sloppy as possible. They like to go outside and roll and play in the mud! I have the opposite problem of trying to get their handwriting at least legible. They are usually sloppy with cleaning. I work and work and work on teaching them how to PROPERLY clean. They slop a dirty rag over the table and call it clean! And yet though do a fantastic job with male projects. They helped install our wood floors. They did one room all by themselves while Dad was at work. They replaced and painted the wood siding on our house with their dad. They have done many other projects. I think it may be more typical of girls to be neat. That's because God made us to be helpers for our husbands.
Ironically, I have one son who was very neat and clean when he was little. He would pick up every little thing on the floor and bring it to me. He would be upset if something was dirty and would want my help to make it spotless. During this time, our oldest was having some severe health problems, so I did not want to take the time to do all of this spotless cleaning. I encouraged my second son to not worry about it. I even got upset with him at times for being TOO neat. I made a BIG mistake with this because I unknowingly encouraged him to be sloppy and lazy. I discouraged his efforts and the way God had made him.
I don't have any advice about how to get through the difficulties now, but I do know that it may be best to not discourage the neatness either. The rewards when they are bigger are worth the trouble now.
In Jesus' love, Debbie
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Post by robinva on Jan 18, 2006 13:19:54 GMT -5
Debbie, I thought the same thing! Neat boys ;D We have 3 sons, 17, 15, 13 but probably would have had more if Dh and I hadn't taken family planning out of God's hand into ours. I too have tried training our boys to do SOME housework like doing dishes, dusting, and wiping up the bathroom. Some of my friends are appalled that I haven't taught them how to mop floors! I figure if they are ever in the situation as grown men that a floor needed to be washed they could figure it out. One thing I do keep reminding my friends is that God did not create men to be keepers of their homes. I just don't believe they are wired that way. I do think however that a Godly man will not make unnecessary work for his wife. You know, like pick up his own socks. Love in action. I can really appreciate the gift God has given me in sons. They can really be a big help in the manly chores (like taking out the garbage--I hate to take out the garbage!!!). They also help with filling both the wood shed and wood box for winter heating. "Where no oxen are, the crib is clean; but much increase is by the strength of the ox." Prov. 14:4 Robin
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Sister Michelle
Administrator
I must keep my eyes on Jesus my Saviour
Posts: 1,065
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Post by Sister Michelle on Jan 19, 2006 10:08:08 GMT -5
Thank you all for putting this into a proper perspective. I am trying so hard to bring the children up that sometimes I lose sight of where I am headed. My DH suggested getting Isaiah his own roll fo paper towels and that way he can decide what needs cleaned up. I think we will try that. I am going to try and not discourage the cleaning habit in him. I know it will be a blessing later. If I can just get to that later. Thank you once again.
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debbie
Gracious Lady
Posts: 12
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Post by debbie on Jan 20, 2006 8:24:42 GMT -5
Dear Sister Michelle,
The paper towel idea of your husband's sounds great!
Here are some ideas for your daughter's handwriting: -Don't have her do handwriting every day, maybe once a week since she seems good at it anyway. Then you won't have a struggle every school day! I don't even start handwriting with my boys until around 6 years old. -Something I do with my boys is that I lightly write the letter on the paper for them. Then they trace on top of it to get the letter correct. That helps them to not be so sloppy, but it might help a perfectionist to write it more perfectly. -She could use a special board for writing. I don't remember what they are called, but they are cardboard and have a clear plastic cover on them. A black pen-type tool comes with them. When pressure from the tool is applied to the plastic, the plastic sticks to a black surface behind it and the "written" black marks show on the front of the clear plastic sheet. Then you can pull the plastic sheet up and it "erases" the marks. Then it would be easier for her to erase. Does anyone remember what those are called?
I hope some of these suggestions help you to get through this time of "sowing" while you are waiting for the precious "reaping."
Your sister in Christ, Debbie
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