Post by everyhour on Jun 6, 2007 18:58:40 GMT -5
I'm just looking for advice from other moms about what on earth to do with my two-and-a-half year old. She has my stubborn streak, and, well, my mom always said "I hope you have a kid just like you!" and I got one.
It takes a confrontation nearly as big as a World War to get her to obey me. I've tried spanking, time-outs, loss of privilege, praising and thanking her when she does behave and obey, and all the obvious parenting stuff to get her to obey, but she still hunkers down and puts up a fight over just about everything. We have a two-month old in the house so competing for attention might have something to do with it, but she was just as tenacious before her sister came along.
An example: This morning she emptied just about everything out of the plastic container cabinet. I don't mind if she plays in this cabinet, but I could tell she just emptied it out purely for the sake of making a mess (as opposed when she gets into it "set the table" or whatever) and then refused to clean up. I gave her some time, then gave her a spanking and told her to get going. She just threw a fit and refused to budge. Then there was a long, drawn out series of spankings, time-outs, and threats to take away her Cinderella movie until I had to nurse her sister and couldn't mess with it anymore, so I cleaned it up myself and put her Cinderella movie on a high shelf and told her she couldn't have it for two days. (I don't know if that was the most effective remedy, especially since I know she has no concept of 'two days' but I felt like I had to do something to resolve it all) The kicker is that I was babysitting one of her little friends, and told her that she couldn't play with him until she cleaned up her mess. He even asked her to clean up so she could come play, and she still didn't soften up.
We also have a hard time getting her to stay in her bed after we put her down. A few weeks ago we said she would get a spanking if she got up...and my husband had to spank her and put her back to bed about 10 times in one night. It's ridiculous.
We also have a hard time getting her to stay in the house when the doors are unlocked, behaving and staying with me in stores, and potty training has been...well, let's put it this way. We've been working on this for over six months, and I finally had her going pee fairly consistently, but I couldn't get her to poop in the potty for anything. I finally told her that she only got a prize when she went poop...so now she's pooping in the potty faithfully, but she's peeing in her underwear and then taking them off and leaving them out in the yard! The other day I had to pull a wet pair of panties out of a tree.
I know that she's not on much of a daily routine and I should start giving her more one-on-one time away from the baby, but I'm trying to be consistent and follow through on the consequences I give her and make sure she follows through on what I ask her to do, etc. etc. but this kid takes "strong-willed" to a new level. I get so frustrated when I hear "oh, after a couple spankings or time-outs they'll figure it out" because that doesn't happen with her. Once I tried time-outs with a timer and she spent over an hour in time-out in one day, and these were just 10 minute time outs! Then she started playing with the timer and putting herself in time-out as a game.
Overall she's a good-natured kid. She's very sweet, smart, friendly, and has excellent manners for a two-year old. She loves to compliment people and "help" me with chores around the house. She just gets what she wants to do in her head and it's impossible to get it out. She just took her tantrums up a notch, too, to the point where they actually hurt my ears.
So what can I do with this kid?
It takes a confrontation nearly as big as a World War to get her to obey me. I've tried spanking, time-outs, loss of privilege, praising and thanking her when she does behave and obey, and all the obvious parenting stuff to get her to obey, but she still hunkers down and puts up a fight over just about everything. We have a two-month old in the house so competing for attention might have something to do with it, but she was just as tenacious before her sister came along.
An example: This morning she emptied just about everything out of the plastic container cabinet. I don't mind if she plays in this cabinet, but I could tell she just emptied it out purely for the sake of making a mess (as opposed when she gets into it "set the table" or whatever) and then refused to clean up. I gave her some time, then gave her a spanking and told her to get going. She just threw a fit and refused to budge. Then there was a long, drawn out series of spankings, time-outs, and threats to take away her Cinderella movie until I had to nurse her sister and couldn't mess with it anymore, so I cleaned it up myself and put her Cinderella movie on a high shelf and told her she couldn't have it for two days. (I don't know if that was the most effective remedy, especially since I know she has no concept of 'two days' but I felt like I had to do something to resolve it all) The kicker is that I was babysitting one of her little friends, and told her that she couldn't play with him until she cleaned up her mess. He even asked her to clean up so she could come play, and she still didn't soften up.
We also have a hard time getting her to stay in her bed after we put her down. A few weeks ago we said she would get a spanking if she got up...and my husband had to spank her and put her back to bed about 10 times in one night. It's ridiculous.
We also have a hard time getting her to stay in the house when the doors are unlocked, behaving and staying with me in stores, and potty training has been...well, let's put it this way. We've been working on this for over six months, and I finally had her going pee fairly consistently, but I couldn't get her to poop in the potty for anything. I finally told her that she only got a prize when she went poop...so now she's pooping in the potty faithfully, but she's peeing in her underwear and then taking them off and leaving them out in the yard! The other day I had to pull a wet pair of panties out of a tree.
I know that she's not on much of a daily routine and I should start giving her more one-on-one time away from the baby, but I'm trying to be consistent and follow through on the consequences I give her and make sure she follows through on what I ask her to do, etc. etc. but this kid takes "strong-willed" to a new level. I get so frustrated when I hear "oh, after a couple spankings or time-outs they'll figure it out" because that doesn't happen with her. Once I tried time-outs with a timer and she spent over an hour in time-out in one day, and these were just 10 minute time outs! Then she started playing with the timer and putting herself in time-out as a game.
Overall she's a good-natured kid. She's very sweet, smart, friendly, and has excellent manners for a two-year old. She loves to compliment people and "help" me with chores around the house. She just gets what she wants to do in her head and it's impossible to get it out. She just took her tantrums up a notch, too, to the point where they actually hurt my ears.
So what can I do with this kid?