tbhas6
Senior Member
Posts: 1,146
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Post by tbhas6 on Mar 4, 2008 10:22:07 GMT -5
Hi Ladies,
This morning when my son's clock radio went off I heard an alarming statistic. A recent study showed that only 1 in 5 U.S. families (that's only 20%) eat a meal together ONCE or TWICE per week. The lack of family meal time was attributed to too many distractions such as television, video games, cell phones, etc. This is shocking to me - I knew that family meal time was wanning in our society but didn't realize it was because of in-home distractions. I assumed it was because everyone was always on the go and not going in the same direction or at the same time.
I teach a jr. high school class at my church and occasionally we have had our children's friends over for supper. I have noticed that many of these young people are greatly lacking in social manners, especially table manners. This study explains why.
Our family always eats together. Even when my husband is working out of town and our #3 works the evening shift, I still sit down with my #4 & #5 to eat meals. Since we home school, we eat together three times per day - except Sunday when our family eats only two meals. Television, radios, cell phones, video games, computer, etc. is TOTALLY off limits at meal time. Actually, we've never had anyone try to bring a phone, video game, etc. to the table ...
Even with both my #4 & #5 participating in sports this spring, I put forth an effort to preserve our daily family meal time. On days that we have practice or games our family eats an early supper and then we all have a snack when we arrive home. Then it's bath time and off to bed for the little ones.
What type of creative ideas have you ladies come up with to preserve your family's daily meal time(s)? Do any of you have suggestions on how we can teach the younger generation of women the importance of a daily family meal time? tb
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Post by mountaingirl on Mar 4, 2008 18:57:59 GMT -5
Unfortunately this statistic is not alarming to me. Since my DD went to public school through the 3rd grade I have seen notes in the school newpapers starting at have a "family night" once a week where you have supper together to have a "family night" once a month. Also my little sister used to teach on a reservation and she ran an experiment once. She asked how many children eat supper with their families at least once a week. Not a single child raised their hand. So every day at lunch time she would send two children down to the lunch room to set the table to eat family style.
We do exactly what you do. We have supper about the same time every night whether or not DH is home. He only misses supper if he has to work. If we have something going on that evening we either eat an early supper or eat a snack and have a late supper. Eating has a family is one on the things my DH and I won't budge on.
Even when my DH and I have date night (that means we have supper together when the kids are in bed) we sit down with the children while they are eating and partake in family conversation.
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Post by missionarywife on Mar 5, 2008 6:35:34 GMT -5
we usually eat together but with me on bedrest it has been different. We all usually eat by me in the living room. I am on the pullout bed and kids on the floor. Dh in his chair. I look forward to when things are back to normal.
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tbhas6
Senior Member
Posts: 1,146
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Post by tbhas6 on Mar 5, 2008 22:18:36 GMT -5
Missionarywife,
When is your baby due? We will keep you and your family in our prayers. It is awesome that your husband continues y'alls regular family dining while you are on bed rest. In years to come everyone eating together in the livingroom during this season of your life will be a special memory. I think it is wonderful how you all desire to preserve your daily time together as a family ... tb
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Post by missionarywife on Mar 6, 2008 10:33:05 GMT -5
Missionarywife, When is your baby due? We will keep you and your family in our prayers. It is awesome that your husband continues y'alls regular family dining while you are on bed rest. In years to come everyone eating together in the livingroom during this season of your life will be a special memory. I think it is wonderful how you all desire to preserve your daily time together as a family ... tb Thanks, I am due July 9 but hope to have him after June 18. It has been hard but I keep telling myself Benaiah doesn't need to experience NICU here in Ukraine.
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Post by mountaingirl on Mar 6, 2008 23:16:19 GMT -5
tbhas6,
As far as your question on how to inform younger mothers of how important it is for family meal time, I let them know what it was like when I grew up.
When I was a teenager it seemed like divorce was every where. My parents were the only ones that remained married; the parents of my friends were either recently divorced or going through a divorce. My brother only had one friend that had parents that were staying together; the rest of his friends were in the same boat that mine were in.
My parents were very strict with us. We had daily chores, they were involved with our school life, and they definitely knew all of our friends.
Supper was between 5:30 p.m and 6:00 p.m. every night and you had to be there. The only way you were allowed to miss supper was if you were working (a real job), at a pre-approved school function, or if you had prior permission to eat at a friend's house (extremely rare). Because my parents had these rules they did allow us to bring our friends to supper if we wanted to.
I come from a family of 6 and let me tell you we ALWAYS had more than 6 people at the supper table. My dad required a meat, potato (yes even on spaghetti night), and 2 vegetables (you were required to eat one) every night. The food was passed around the table to the left and he made sure that everyone participated in family conversation. This meant that you had to tell everyone about your day or you could not be excused from the table.
To make a very long story a little shorter; our friends loved it. No matter how many times they came to supper they all insisted that we had such a formal supper for them.
This taught me many things: 1. People need to feel loved and wanted and sitting together every night at the supper table seems to do it. 2. We all seemed to stay out of a lot of trouble since we had to share our day with the family every night. 3. It also let me know that there was always someone waiting for me at home with love and a plate of food. 4. It taught me respect for my parents and siblings.
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tbhas6
Senior Member
Posts: 1,146
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Post by tbhas6 on Mar 7, 2008 11:03:53 GMT -5
Mountaingirl,
Your 4 items of education through family meal time are the same reasons we are so intent on having family meal time every evening. You are living proof it works. While growing up, I only lived a couple years with a family that ate together every evening (I wasn't raised by my parents). Those couple years had such an impact on me that our family takes daily meals together. They are great reasons to give the younger women when encouraging them to have a daily family meal time.
I know that my children's friends LOVE to eat at our home. Even though I wish some had better table manners, it always warms my heart to see them enjoy eating with our family. They are so hungry for the atmosphere of community and family that eating together provides.
Thanks for the suggestions, tb
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Post by keflavik on Mar 12, 2008 19:26:02 GMT -5
I have always kept the rule for my children, even as toddlers, "No toys at the table. We don't play at mealtime." As they have grown, I have included, "No reading at the table." It annoys the crud out of me when they sit and read everything from the ingredients on the ketchup bottle to the fat content in salad dressing. Mealtime is a time for discussing the days events and just plain conversation and laughter. We have had children over for meals that have absolutely no table manners to the extent that she wouldn't even sit on the chair! I asked if they ever ate at home (I know they are a family on the go) and she said, "No, we usually eat in the living room and watch TV." And most guests don't know what to do with a cloth napkin and ask for a paper one which I don't buy. I've tried to teach them how to serve themselves and pass the food around. Salt and pepper always travel together. And, when you are finished, you take your plate to the sink. Desert doesn't come out until everyone is finished. Not to mention, how to hold a fork and sthingy properly and use a knife at age 5. There are a lot of manners to be taught at the table. Have y'all ever noticed that there are very, very few restaurants that serve family style meals? It's all individual plating. In Europe, it is quite common to find restaurants that serve one menu for the whole family. Makes it easier really.
When the sports schedules kick in and its a matter of timing meals, we adjust so that we all still sit and eat together. Lunches are packed for when we are out and about and we have a picnic even if its inside. When I was in the hospital, my children gave me a get well card and my oldest son had to write, "We miss your cooking." I guess Dad's fast food frenzy was getting old! But, it did show me how much the children really do appreciate mealtimes together.
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Post by keflavik on Mar 12, 2008 19:43:56 GMT -5
Oh, I forgot to mention. Mealtime also encourages good eating habits. My husband was just saying yesterday that our children are "freaks of nature" because they actually like red beets and broccoli and califlower. "What kind of kid likes those?" They like pretty much all veggies except brussel sprouts and squash. Even cooked cabbage and spinach. I attribute it to the rule, "Take one bite and see if you like it. You never know until you try." Let them make their own decision and then serve it again. My #5 doesn't like peas (yet) but is learning that they don't taste so bad if he eats them first and gets them out of the way. Or if they are in a soup or casserole, they all taste the same! But, constantly serving them rather than avoiding them has led all my children to like pretty much most veggies.
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tbhas6
Senior Member
Posts: 1,146
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Post by tbhas6 on Mar 13, 2008 10:00:38 GMT -5
Keflavik, your children aren't the only "freeks of nature" out there. Our #1's favorite veggie is brussel sprouts, our #2's favorite is broccoli, our #3's favorite is red cabbage, our #4's favorite is also broccoli and our #5's favorite is corn.
Only the younger one's have veggies they don't like - #4 doesn't like celery and #5 doesn't like peas. They still have to eat them, and I am so happy that they like all the others - even asparagas.
tb
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Post by missionarywife on Mar 14, 2008 4:24:10 GMT -5
I don't have any problems with the kids eating veges. I couldn't handle the kids being picky. That would drive me nuts
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