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Post by joannaehughes on Feb 6, 2008 9:23:31 GMT -5
We are older first time parents and have a soon to be three year old that isn't really using his language very much. The state has done an assessment on him and said he has delays and would like him in pre-preschool, mainly for the interaction of other grown ups and the interaction of other kids. He would love this, just for the social with kids - but we are not enamored with the public education system and have been seriously been considering home schooling as the sane alternative (have not ruled out sending him to a Christian School..) . I was thinking that maybe close involvement with his education and educators would give me more peace and really let me know just when to begin transition. Is it wise for us to remove him from the public school system being an only child? We would love to have had more children but the Lord has blessed us with this one, so we wait! Anyone with insight or an opinion would be greatly appreciated. This is our first time around this block! Thanks, Joanna
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tbhas6
Senior Member
Posts: 1,146
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Post by tbhas6 on Feb 6, 2008 11:13:24 GMT -5
Since I am a HUGE advocate of home schooling and VERY biased toward public education, I do not feel I am one to make any suggestions aside from advising one to seek God on the issue. If you do not have a peace regarding your son's educational situation then by all means get into your prayer closet and seek the wisdom of God.
I have found in my own life that when I lack peace about a situation, it is the Holy Spirit gently letting me know I am outside God's desire for my life or my children's lives. As Christians, we can not allow the opinions of others to form our decisions. We must follow the direction of the Bible and the quickening of the Holy Spirit (by the way, the Holy Spirit will NEVER direct us toward anything contrary to God Word).
We must always remember that God's ways are not man's ways. AND God's way will not always be easy but it will ALWAYS be right.
tb
p.s. Our #5 didn't speak a single word (no exageration) until he was almost three. It was clear he understood what we were saying as he'd obey, etc. He just wouldn't talk. Then one day my #3 told him if he wanted a ball, he'd have to say ball. After about 15 minutes of this "game" my #5 said "ball". He hasn't been quiet a single day since.
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Post by keflavik on Feb 6, 2008 11:45:12 GMT -5
As a general rule, boys tend to develop their verbal language skills later than girls. I wouldn't become too worried about it until age five or so. If he is using some now, that shows it is still in the initial stages and beginning to work. Constant encouragement and lots of talk from you will help develop it further. Does he follow simple directions? Does he obey? Talk things through and explain what your doing as you do them with him. Stress colors, counting, and shapes in everyday objects. Verbally go through the steps of a process. At three years old, he is just a "sponge" yet and taking it all in, learning at the same time. Think carefully, about the "social aspect" of a preschool. As a "sponge", he will also absorb the not so good qualities of other children that he wouldn't find at home (ie, biting is big at this age in a group setting) What kind of "social skills" do you want him to learn? The public schools tend to buy off on this way too much, in my opinion, making parents believe that they are short changing their children by not getting them around other children. What about church? A play group supervised by you? There are other alternatives than preschool. Seriously pray about it. If God has given you this little blessing, you are the one responsible to his care. (Proverbs 22:6)
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Post by donna31 on Feb 6, 2008 23:49:42 GMT -5
I could not agree more with the other ladies. Unfortunatly the state is going to recommend a parent send their child to "preschool" no matter how advanced his speech. I am so glad to have the opportunity to homeschool my children. My sister also has a son that it 4 1/2 now but talked late. We were all getting concerned about him. And then, it seemed that all of a sudden he just exploded - and now it is hard to get him to be quiet. Something else you could try is to sing with him. Sing while you are giving him a bath, driving down the road, - anytime. Encourage him to sing with you- not just little "kiddie" songs but also regular hymns. He will enjoy it and it will help him also.
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Post by donna31 on Feb 6, 2008 23:55:28 GMT -5
Just another note about homeschooling - if you are even considering it - start your research now! I started looking about homeschooling when my oldest was 2 and I am glad I did.
Find others who homeschool that you trust and ask there opinion about curriculms and methods. Go to curriculum fairs and see what is out there. If you dont really know anyone else around you - I am sure that there are plenty of ladies right here on the board to encourage you in your quest.
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tbhas6
Senior Member
Posts: 1,146
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Post by tbhas6 on Feb 7, 2008 10:40:22 GMT -5
Donna31 brought up a very good point regarding the state recommending that ANY and ALL youngsters begin pre-school. One needs to analyze why the state recommends this for all children.
Our family has the privilege of knowing two school principles and a school teacher who home school. All three have made it very clear the state's ONLY motivation for getting children into public education at a very young age is to garnish federal education dollars. What's even more sad is that in my state, Texas, teachers, administrators, office personnel, grounds keepers (basically anyone who is employed by the education system) is encouraged to actually search for and find students with anything that could be considered a learning disability. In Texas' educational system, everything from slow speech or late to speak, ADD, ADHD, on up to severe handicaps are considered learning disabilities. Why does my state DESIRE and SEEK out to label children with learning disabilities? They receive MORE federal funding for children with learning disabilities than they do for average or academically gifted children. When I learned this awful reality of my state's educational system, I began understanding why so very many children in Texas are required by their public schools (not their family physicians) to take ADHD, etc. medications.
One also needs to keep in mind that once the public education system labels a child with a learning disability it is almost impossible to get that label removed. Another very closed friend of ours, a former teacher, left the profession to home school her children after one of them suffered a traumatic brain injury. We all praise God that her child is 100% normal today with no learning or physical disabilities. But this former teacher ended her career and removed her children from public education because once her child had fully recovered from her injury the state refused to remove her child from the students with disabilities category. Thus, prohibiting her daughter from mainstream educational tools.
I do not write this to frighten anyone or to criticize anyone's decisions regarding their children's education. I share these things because I firmly believe it is imperative that as parents we question the motivation behind the "experts'" recommendations. I have too often met with parents who have made decisions to follow the advise of "experts", even when the parent didn't have any peace about the recommendations. Later the same parents discovered their "gut" feelings were correct and the experts were wrong. And their children are the ones who had suffered. Basically, we as parents are the ones who really KNOW our children. Others are only exposed to a limited knowledge about our children and their suggestions are based on this limited knowledge.
Again, I urge ALL parents to seek the will of God in all matters regarding the upbringing of their children. God created each and everyone of them with a purpose and a plan. If we as parents go to God for our parenting wisdom, we can rest assured He will give us the correct and right answer for the child He created. tb
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Post by submisive2him on Feb 7, 2008 22:08:34 GMT -5
Tb
I am so with you on the learning disabilities this subject will get me going. It is just not Texas, I live in Illinois and this state is really bad about ADHD and ADD and this is my opinion and most people don't agree with me but I think it is all fake. I think that it is a " disease " for teachers and parents to get there disobedient children out of there hair in stead of spending time with them and correcting them. I think our Docs need a lot of prayer because I know many parents go in say my child is ADD and bam they have the meds in there hand right then. OH my I am sorry I hope that I did not offend anyone I need to stop now because this subject upsets me a little to much. Pray for me
Submisive
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tbhas6
Senior Member
Posts: 1,146
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Post by tbhas6 on Feb 7, 2008 22:34:26 GMT -5
Submissive, Keflavik and I had a couple posts regarding ADD & ADHD symptoms under another topic. Although I think there may be some true cases of ADD & ADHD, I do not agree that it is as prevalent as "the experts" want us to believe.
Schools, unfortunately, jump onto to the medication bandwagon because their hands are tied when it comes to discipline. Unfortunately, many parents have bought the lie that discipline will damage a child's self esteem.
Also contributing, as Keflavik and I discussed in the other post, is a nutrition factor. The standard American diet (SAD) is exactly that -SAD. Keflavik mentioned a book she was reading - I can't recall the title at this moment - that addressed WHY today's children have a difficult time exhibiting self control. The book discusses adverse reactions to various food additives. Sounded like a very interesting read to me.
tb
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Post by mountaingirl on Feb 8, 2008 3:14:57 GMT -5
Joannaehughes
One idea is to see if there are any Christian home schooling co-ops in your area. This is a great way for your child to get interaction with other children and keep God in the education. Another idea is to see if you can volunteer at a local Christian daycare/preschool. This way your child gets more interaction, you might be able to pick-up some different ideas, and you can keep an eye on things.
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Post by joannaehughes on Feb 8, 2008 10:42:58 GMT -5
Thank you ladies very much. It is clear we need the Lord's direction and spending time in prayer and reading his word looking for answers on this is of course the first step in the right direction! Thank you, you know sometimes it seems like you're flooded with information and those who tell you they are standing for what is good - and if you are good you will listen to me or you're bad (as in bad parents..)! It is so calming to be reminded of basic grounding truth, it grounds you and sets your course. Things don't feel so fluid when you are grounded. Thank you, Thank you.. Joanna
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Post by submisive2him on Feb 8, 2008 19:18:49 GMT -5
Tb I apologize for jumping into a conversation that I shouldn't had. The hole medication thing is a sour subject for me. I feel sorry for children that are put on the medication for ADD or ADHD. My husband is one of them children and still to this day can sometimes feel the effects from that medication. My husband was addicted to Mt. Dew and the doc said it is because it is a subsitute to the medication that he was on when he was a boy, so there for my husband had to slowly stop the Mt. Dew and now he can't drink it very often. ( not that it is good for him anyways )
Submisive
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Post by donna31 on Feb 8, 2008 19:46:27 GMT -5
I am absolutely sure of the fact that if my 8 year old son went to public school - he would be labeled as adhd. (Not because of a discipline problem as I am sure that is a large part of the underlying problem for most parents. He minds very well with a little incentive from the rod occasionally! ). He is a typical boy!!! It is fidgity and squirmy and on some days he just cannot seem to concentrate. That's ok - I even have days like that. We live in a very small house (less than 800 sq feet) and when it is cold and rainy for several days he acts like is is going to bounce off of the walls! These poor children are expected to sit for 7 or 8 hours a day with very few breaks. I have a friend with a daughter in 5th grade. They do not even have recess and they only have 2 p.e. classes per week. They need an outlet to let out energy.
Most of the children (and not all because I know some really good parents who have their children in public school ) but most children come home to an empty house in the afternoons and plop themselves in front of the tv or playstation and thats where they stay. Combine very little physical exercise with bad nutrition and no discipline and its no wonder so many are labeled with a problem. The bad part is this is just a simple answer to parents who do not understand that a few changes in their home can make a huge difference in their children's behavior.
I actually know a woman who has a child like this. The parents have no control over him. They feed him red hot dogs and products full of sugar, and he stays in front of their playstation. I tried to give her a copy of "To Train up a child" one time - (which she conveinently left laying on the couch when she left). One doctor just flat out told her she had a discipline problem. She didnt like that diagnosis, so she went for a second opinion. She was only happy when he was diagnosed with a "medical condition."
I am not trying to be harsh or offensive. I know there are children with a "real" problem. For them, I am glad their is help. I am also sorry for them because so many children are wrongly diagnosed with this problem now just to soothe some parent's consciences and people are not taking the real cases seriously anymore.
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tbhas6
Senior Member
Posts: 1,146
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Post by tbhas6 on Feb 8, 2008 20:23:33 GMT -5
Submissive,
You have no reason to apologize - I don't think anyone took offense with your post, I certainly didn't. I, for one, enjoy reading all the feedback from everyone - I learn alot and when my interests are peeked, I usually have a starting point from which to do more research.
From where I stand your comments and opinions are welcomed .. tb
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Post by joannaehughes on Feb 12, 2008 6:37:54 GMT -5
I agree! No one took offense I am sure, and I am delighted to receive so much input on this subject. Thank you everyone. I do not see the harm in sharing our hearts concern and receiving heartfelt responses especially with our Sisters. No malice or harm done. Thanks again everyone. Joanna
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