Post by pursuer on Dec 8, 2007 13:45:31 GMT -5
When I was 8 or 9, I accepted the Lord’s salvation.
I did not live he life of someone grateful for this, however, until I was about 13, when my Dad and Mom decided to home school my sister and I. Being taken away from the muck and mire of the public school opened my eyes to God’s gift to me, and how I had been living in ignorance.
When I was 16, I met a man on-line. I chose to talk with him, but he was 10 years my senior, and I do know now that he had horrible intentions for me. When I turned 18, I ran away from home to be with him. Three weeks later, we married.
Life was miserable at this time in my life. I was not allowed to clean the house (we lived with his mother), to cook, to use more than 4 squares of toilet paper at a sitting, to read a book or use the internet. I was told that I NEEDED to shake and speak in tounges to be a true Christian. I was not allowed to see any friends or family until we had 30 days of NO arguing. He would make things up to say I had argued with him. After we had gone 27 days with no arguing (I did not even offer up any opinions on anything, to get to that point), I asked him if he could get me a roll of toilet paper (he always went with me into the bathroom to make sure I didn’t use too much). He said, “Why are you trying to start a fight?” And my time started over, just like that.
Finally, things became so abusive that I asked my girlfriend to come and get me, and she did the very next day (she lived 8 hours away). I told my husband that I wasn’t leaving for good, but it was a vacation. I was going to go for one week. Her car broke down, and the auto shop said it would take two weeks to get the part and fix it. When I called my husband and told him, he said to not bother coming back, because he could see how I was trying to “hurt him” and that I was trying to get out of going back anyway. I told him I could send him a report from the mechanic, but he said no.
Eventually, our marriage was annulled, but to be honest, I truly was ready for it to be, anyway. I justified it in my heart, and so did my parents, that God did not want me miserable, so it was okay to break my vows.
Just a few months after the annulment was final, I met Brian. Neither of us wanted anything to do with dating. We ended up growing to like one another, and were soon engaged. Less than a month later, we found out we were pregnant. We decided to move the wedding up a bit, so that our family would be together from the beginning.
My husband, Brian, was going to Christian college at the time, to be a pastor. Several things happened on his part after we were married, that made him decide to quit Christian school, and eventually, to voice out that he wasn’t a Christian anymore.
When our daughter was 2, he started using drugs. When she was 3, she and I moved back to New Hampshire to live with my parents until Brian could get sober. He did. But while I was in New Hampshire, many Christians tried to convince me that God created divorce and that He did not want me to “suffer.” Something in me knew now that this was a lie. I looked up Scripture, took Bible courses and read a book called The Excellent Wife. The Lord blessed me over those brief months in such a way that He greatly instilled faithfulness in my heart.
Brian has been sober for two years now. My daughter and I have been home for a long time, and things were going very well.
Until my husband was laid-off from a construction job (it finished quicker than was expected) and went for three months without finding anything else. Our landlady was amazing, and allowed us to stay.
He found another job, and then was fired from that one, due to the boss being crazy. We went for five months without him working. Our daughter lived with Brian’s parents for 3 months, as we were evicted from our apartment and had nowhere to go.
Right now, we are living with our daughter in a shelter. (It’s like a house, really.) We have enough money saved up to move out on our own, as my husband has gotten a better paying job with an amazing boss that has bent over backwards for Brian to make it to work, gave him a company cell phone (and will be giving him a company vehicle), given him raises. We are just looking for a place now.
Through this time many people, even Christians, told me to “get a job” and help out. But I trusted the Lord. I believe that when He tells us to do something, we need to do it, and even if it is not on earth, we will be blessed for obeying Him. I’ve gone to a Bible study with Christian women that is mostly comprised of “worldly” Christians. Several of them have told me I am being selfish in not “contributing” to the family income by leaving my daughter with strangers and working away from my family all day long, but at a Bible study this last week, they all told me that they look to me with admiration for being so faithful in God. (We did an exercise called “One Thing I really appreciate about you is…” and then everyone took turns saying it about each person.)
Hearing theses women say two things that seemed to contradict one another has caused me to look at myself with humility. I am nothing special, but the Lord loves me (as He does each one of us) and instills within me great things, when I am only willing. Also, that even when our flesh cries out to sin, we can listen to Him and obey. We do not have to give into our sin-nature. He gives us the strength! When we do this, even those that oppose us must declare that He is at work!
At this point in my life, my testimony sums up to this:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” -Proverbs 3:5-6
I did not live he life of someone grateful for this, however, until I was about 13, when my Dad and Mom decided to home school my sister and I. Being taken away from the muck and mire of the public school opened my eyes to God’s gift to me, and how I had been living in ignorance.
When I was 16, I met a man on-line. I chose to talk with him, but he was 10 years my senior, and I do know now that he had horrible intentions for me. When I turned 18, I ran away from home to be with him. Three weeks later, we married.
Life was miserable at this time in my life. I was not allowed to clean the house (we lived with his mother), to cook, to use more than 4 squares of toilet paper at a sitting, to read a book or use the internet. I was told that I NEEDED to shake and speak in tounges to be a true Christian. I was not allowed to see any friends or family until we had 30 days of NO arguing. He would make things up to say I had argued with him. After we had gone 27 days with no arguing (I did not even offer up any opinions on anything, to get to that point), I asked him if he could get me a roll of toilet paper (he always went with me into the bathroom to make sure I didn’t use too much). He said, “Why are you trying to start a fight?” And my time started over, just like that.
Finally, things became so abusive that I asked my girlfriend to come and get me, and she did the very next day (she lived 8 hours away). I told my husband that I wasn’t leaving for good, but it was a vacation. I was going to go for one week. Her car broke down, and the auto shop said it would take two weeks to get the part and fix it. When I called my husband and told him, he said to not bother coming back, because he could see how I was trying to “hurt him” and that I was trying to get out of going back anyway. I told him I could send him a report from the mechanic, but he said no.
Eventually, our marriage was annulled, but to be honest, I truly was ready for it to be, anyway. I justified it in my heart, and so did my parents, that God did not want me miserable, so it was okay to break my vows.
Just a few months after the annulment was final, I met Brian. Neither of us wanted anything to do with dating. We ended up growing to like one another, and were soon engaged. Less than a month later, we found out we were pregnant. We decided to move the wedding up a bit, so that our family would be together from the beginning.
My husband, Brian, was going to Christian college at the time, to be a pastor. Several things happened on his part after we were married, that made him decide to quit Christian school, and eventually, to voice out that he wasn’t a Christian anymore.
When our daughter was 2, he started using drugs. When she was 3, she and I moved back to New Hampshire to live with my parents until Brian could get sober. He did. But while I was in New Hampshire, many Christians tried to convince me that God created divorce and that He did not want me to “suffer.” Something in me knew now that this was a lie. I looked up Scripture, took Bible courses and read a book called The Excellent Wife. The Lord blessed me over those brief months in such a way that He greatly instilled faithfulness in my heart.
Brian has been sober for two years now. My daughter and I have been home for a long time, and things were going very well.
Until my husband was laid-off from a construction job (it finished quicker than was expected) and went for three months without finding anything else. Our landlady was amazing, and allowed us to stay.
He found another job, and then was fired from that one, due to the boss being crazy. We went for five months without him working. Our daughter lived with Brian’s parents for 3 months, as we were evicted from our apartment and had nowhere to go.
Right now, we are living with our daughter in a shelter. (It’s like a house, really.) We have enough money saved up to move out on our own, as my husband has gotten a better paying job with an amazing boss that has bent over backwards for Brian to make it to work, gave him a company cell phone (and will be giving him a company vehicle), given him raises. We are just looking for a place now.
Through this time many people, even Christians, told me to “get a job” and help out. But I trusted the Lord. I believe that when He tells us to do something, we need to do it, and even if it is not on earth, we will be blessed for obeying Him. I’ve gone to a Bible study with Christian women that is mostly comprised of “worldly” Christians. Several of them have told me I am being selfish in not “contributing” to the family income by leaving my daughter with strangers and working away from my family all day long, but at a Bible study this last week, they all told me that they look to me with admiration for being so faithful in God. (We did an exercise called “One Thing I really appreciate about you is…” and then everyone took turns saying it about each person.)
Hearing theses women say two things that seemed to contradict one another has caused me to look at myself with humility. I am nothing special, but the Lord loves me (as He does each one of us) and instills within me great things, when I am only willing. Also, that even when our flesh cries out to sin, we can listen to Him and obey. We do not have to give into our sin-nature. He gives us the strength! When we do this, even those that oppose us must declare that He is at work!
At this point in my life, my testimony sums up to this:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” -Proverbs 3:5-6